Overstimulated Mom? Reset in 1, 5, or 15 Minutes

The resets in this post are simple self-care tools. They are not a substitute for medical or mental health advice. Please reach out to a professional if you need more support.

You’re dicing onions in the kitchen. Chop. Chop. Chop. The smell is making your eyes water. Meanwhile, the kids are listening to a TV show in the living room. It’s obnoxiously loud. You add the onions to the pan and they start to sizzle. The kitchen is starting to feel uncomfortably hot. You grab a carrot and resume chopping.

Suddenly, there’s a crash from the living room. You rush in and see one of the kids knocked over their drink. Now there’s a puddle of milk on the floor. One kid starts yelling, “Mommy! Mommy! I’m hungry!” That’s when the smell of burnt onions wafts in from the kitchen.

At that moment, it all becomes too much. Too much noise. Too many smells. Too much mess. You feel anxious. Your body is tense. You’re about to snap at the next person who breathes. These are all classic signs of overstimulation.

What Is Overstimulation?

Overstimulation happens when you receive too much sensory input for your nervous system to handle. It can lead to symptoms like irritability, stress, loss of focus, and restlessness, as well as sweating, dizziness, and chest tightness. 

As moms, we’re bombarded by sensory input every day. The noise, the mess, the constantly being touched or treated like a jungle gym. No wonder our nervous systems sometimes scream “Enough!” 

And if you’re a mom who has anxiety, ADHD, autism or PTSD, you might find yourself overstimulated more often and more intensely than other moms.

The important thing is that being overstimulated isn’t a character flaw and it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. It just means your system has hit capacity and can’t take any more sensory stimulation.

Responding to Overstimulation

So what can you do if you get overstimulated? Especially if you don’t have much time? That’s when a quick reset might help! Below you’ll find three resets to try when you’re overstimulated: one for when you only have one minute, one for when you can grab five minutes, and one for when you can take 15 minutes.

1-Minute Reset for When You’re Overstimulated

Inhale through your nose and then, before you exhale, take another quick breath in. Then exhale through your mouth. Repeat this process two or three times. 

This type of breath, where you inhale twice before exhaling, is called the physiological sigh. And while it is a very simple practice, researchers say that doing just one or two physiological sighs is often enough to help you feel calmer. Studies have also found that practicing this type of breathing for 5 minutes a day is an effective way to reduce stress.

5-Minute Reset for When You’re Overstimulated

Go somewhere with a door, like the bathroom, your bedroom or even the laundry room, so you can close it behind you. Find a comfortable position either sitting or lying down. (Sitting on the edge of the tub or even on the floor will work in a pinch!) Then bring your attention to your feet. What sensations do you notice there? You’re not trying to relax or fix anything. You’re just noticing what’s there. 

Then move on to your legs, belly, chest, arms, hands and head. Spend a few breaths on each area, just noticing what comes up. If you find your attention wanders to the TV blaring from another room, that’s okay. Just gently bring it back to your body.

The exercise used in this reset is called a body scan. Research has shown that mindfulness practices like this can help reduce stress and anxiety, even if only practiced for five minutes.

15-Minute Reset for When You’re Overstimulated

Make yourself a warm drink. Take it into a room with a door, so you can close the door behind you. Dim the lights slightly if you can. 

Then pay attention to the mug in front of you. Place your hands close to it and let yourself feel how warm it is. Notice any smell your drink may have. As you take a sip, pay attention to its taste and how it feels in your mouth. 

If your attention wanders to the sound of the dishwasher humming in the background, that’s okay. Just gently bring your focus back to your drink.

Continue to slowly sip your drink and keep your attention on it for the rest of the 15 minutes.

If you don’t want to make yourself a warm drink, you can do this reset with a glass of water, a raisin, or even a piece of chocolate! The point is to pick one thing to pay attention to and let everything else just be part of the background.

The exercise used in this reset is a type of focused attention meditation. And it still counts if you do it in the bathroom while the kids are yelling at each other in the living room!

Research has shown that focused attention meditations can lower your heart rate and help your body relax. And if you choose black tea as your warm drink for this reset, there’s an added bonus: studies suggest it can help you recover after stressful moments.

Preventing Overstimulation

Over time, you might start to notice specific things that trigger overstimulation. Different moms will have different triggers. Some might find being constantly touched is their biggest problem. Others might find that loud noises are too much.

Once you’ve identified specific triggers, you can try taking steps to minimize them. For example, if loud sounds are a problem, you might want to experiment with wearing earplugs when the kids are playing or watching TV. These can reduce sounds while still allowing you to hear what your kids are getting up to.

Closing Thoughts

When you’re overstimulated, your nervous system is telling you that it has reached capacity and can’t take any more input. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. It means you need a reset. I’d love to hear about what works for you when you’re overstimulated in the comments!

References

Balban, Melis Yilmaz, et al. “Brief Structured Respiration Practices Enhance Mood and Reduce Physiological Arousal.” Cell Reports Medicine, vol. 4, no. 1, 10 Jan. 2023, pp. 1–15, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.xcrm.2022.100895.

Cleveland Clinic. “How to Manage (and Even Overcome) Sensory Overload.” Cleveland Clinic, 19 July 2023, https://health.clevelandclinic.org/sensory-overload.

Howarth, Ana, et al. “Effects of Brief Mindfulness-Based Interventions on Health-Related Outcomes: A Systematic Review.” Mindfulness, vol. 10, no. 10, 31 May 2019, pp. 1957–1968, https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-019-01163-1.

Leggett, Hadley. ““Cyclic Sighing” Can Help Breathe Away Anxiety.” News Center, 2023, https://med.stanford.edu/news/insights/2023/02/cyclic-sighing-can-help-breathe-away-anxiety.html.

Leonard, Jayne. “Sensory Overload: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment.” Medical News Today.com, 2 Apr. 2020, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/sensory-overload#symptoms.

Ooishi, Yuuki, et al. “Differential Effects of Focused Attention and Open Monitoring Meditation on Autonomic Cardiac Modulation and Cortisol Secretion.” Frontiers in Physiology, vol. 12, 15 July 2021, https://doi.org/10.3389/fphys.2021.675899.

Steptoe, Andrew, et al. “The Effects of Tea on Psychophysiological Stress Responsivity and Post-Stress Recovery: A Randomised Double-Blind Trial.” Psychopharmacology, vol. 190, no. 1, 30 Sept. 2006, pp. 81–89, https://doi.org/10.1007/s00213-006-0573-2.

Zhang, Dexing, et al. “Mindfulness-Based Interventions: An Overall Review.” British Medical Bulletin, vol. 138, no. 1, 21 Apr. 2021, pp. 41–57, https://doi.org/10.1093/bmb/ldab005.